As I looked back at Wayde, I remembered thinking what a nice, handsome young man he is. He had worked hard all off season, transforming his body and refining his game. His coaches were elated with his tremendous progress. The Baton Rouge media had just quoted LSU's Coach, Will Wade, about how much Wayde was going to be a major contributor this upcoming season. This is a huge deal for the hometown boy, who was born and raised in Baton Rouge and enjoyed his status as a LSU legacy, as his father played years before for this same program. At 20 years old, Wayde was on the top of the world. He was a scholar-athlete expected to play a major role on a nationally ranked team, wearing jersey number 44- the same number his father, Wayne, wore years earlier.
This all ended yesterday. A wave of nausea and sorrow ran through my body when I woke to the horrific news yesterday morning that Wayde had been shot in the head and killed in Baton Rouge. Today we found out that another 20 year old has been charged in this gruesome murder. Reportedly, Wayde was defending a friend when the other young man shot him. Two young lives are now ruined over a seemingly senseless altercation outside of a college fraternity party.
Sadly, this type of news is becoming the norm. We live in a violence-obsessed culture where we are becoming desensitized to these types of stories. This particular story hits close to home for me, because I knew the victim, and it deeply effects people I care about. I can only imagine the intense pain his family, teammates, and coaches are feeling right now.
I do not think that there is one simple solution to curb the violence in our society. There is no quick- fix panacea. Sadly, I do believe that we are raising a generation of young individuals who are becoming increasing unable to put some space between their impulses and actions. The Dali Lama stated that the answer may lie in the teaching of mindfulness, "If every 8 year old in the world is taught meditation, we will eliminate violence from the world within one generation.”
We are living in an accelerated culture where we expect everything to come to us in a flash. In essence, we expect instant gratification. It is rare that we sit and process our difficult emotions these days. We would rather pull out our electronic devices and numb ourselves mentally and emotionally instead of contemplating the experience we are dealing with in the present moment. In our "culture of comfort," we react impulsively instead of responding thoughtfully.
Sitting for a few minutes every day in meditation builds our self-awareness by making us observe our thoughts and emotions. By doing so, we learn more patience for ourselves, thus building our self-compassion. Once we have self-compassion, our capacity for having compassion for others increases exponentially.
Is meditation the only answer for violence like this in the world? I doubt it. I do, however, believe it could be a start in the right direction.
I return to Baton Rouge in one week for my next monthly trip to work on mindfulness training with the LSU basketball team. When I look up and see Wayde's empty chair in the film room during our session, I will be sad. That infectious smile of his will be missed....Rest easy, number 44. Godspeed.
